1. The Science Behind Why Bad Movies are Good (Sept. 2011)
2. Re-Visting QPE (June 2015)
Wow, 2011, I've been writing these silly articles in this thing for a long time now. I'm gonna throw that QPE Stupid Graph back up here and re-talk about it:
Basically, I think that It's a very U-shaped situation when it comes to Stupidity in movies. If you make a movie that has no Stupid at all (the Stupid on the graph above is the horizontal axis so no stupid is on the furthest left point labeled there as "1") ... then your movie is good. As it starts to increase in the stupidity it gets worse and drops in Goodness .... a really dumb movie that is no-good is labelled up there as "2".
Alright, but what happens if the movie is Really Stupid? What if the people making don't give a fuck and just go with it and enjoy it and embrace the Stupid? Then the Goodness starts to Re-Rise and hit "3"!
Then "4" and then "5"! The best movies, according to me anyway, are ones that are surreal in how stupid they are.
I don't even know why I'm like this. I just have bad taste in movies, that's all. I have bad taste in everything. I cannot explain it, I really can't. How does a human start thinking stupid movies are good? It just happens ... like one day you're laughing at how bad some shitty movie is and next thing you know all you ever want to watch is hilarious stupid shit. It just sorta happens, like one night you go to bed as a normal person ... and then the next morning you wake up and are just enamored with ridiculous nonsense. I can't explain why I'm this way ... it's not even my fault ... it just happened. You just open your eyes one day and just want your entertainment to be comprised of only silly shit. You start realizing things like "Rocket Man" starring Harland Williams is a MASTERPIECE and your favorite recording artist is HEINO!
I love "Bad" movies, I do.
Rest in Peace Bud Spencer
If you're a fan of "Bad" movies like I am and you've never had the experience of seeing a Bud Spencer film then you are really depriving yourself. His work, along side his tag-team partner Terence Hill are some of the .... um ..... the ...... I don't even know how to describe them.
Bud Spencer was born Carlo Pedersoli and as a youth was a talented swimmer in Italy. As he got older he retired from swimming and tried his hand at acting. He chose his screen name of "Bud Spencer" because he was a fan of Spencer Tracy ... and of Budweiser Beer.
He wanted to be a Hollywood star ... but in Italy. It seemed like a strange way to go about things but thus was born an Icon. He and Terence Hill made American style movies like Westerns, Cop Movies, and Redneck Beat-em-Ups ... in Italy.
Why? Who knows.... I guess some fun people who grew up in Italy and loved Hollywood movies and Shaw Brothers Kung Fu movies looked at each other one day and said ... "Hey it'd be fun to make our own!" and so they did ... and they were something, these movies. They were something ... or other.
How to describe it. It's like ... you know when a movie is trying to depict a different culture but the actors aren't part of that culture and something just seems off? I'm sure like when Asians watch a Tom Cruise samurai movie ... they are thinking something is off, you know? In regards to Bud Spencer movies ... for an American to watch American culture but through the lens of Italy ... it's just a bit off for us. It seems odd and funny to us.
Here, maybe this video can help explain the phenomenon. This is an Italian man who doesn't speak English but is singing an "American" song (he starts singing around 1:25 ish in the video below),
....this is just an example of "America through the Lens of Italy":
Something seems off right? It's weird. Bud Spencer movies aren't as pronounced as this video of the man singing is ... but it's like that ... it's America through the lens of Italy ... and it's just slightly odd.
I've never really seen these films talked about much by other sources of Bad Movie Likers ... the way I found out about the Legendary Bud Spencer was when I found a DVD in a Wal Mart bargain bin over a decade ago called "The Sheriff and the Satellite Kid." It looked interesting, I must say, as I tossed aside other $2 crap movies like "WaterWorld" or the "The Postman" that you couldn't pay me to buy .... there it was ... "Satellite Kid" ....
...I had never heard of this. The art didn't look like anything I remember from the 80s. I had never heard of this name "Bud Spencer" .... so I turned the DVD case around and looked at the other names involved and NONE OF THEM sounded even the least bit Americany. You'd think people associated with a guy named Bud Spencer would be American, but no, the back of the DVD had names like:
Directed by: Alredo Fedecine Alfredo
Written by: Luigio Papalogusi
Key Grip: Carmine Ragusa
Written by: Luigio Papalogusi
Key Grip: Carmine Ragusa
What? I'm thinking ... what the hell is this thing? In the end it was what I described it as above, it's people in Italy who wanted to make an American movie and they had about 10 grand all together to make it .... and it's so weird.
I saw the dubbed version so I don't know how good the original version is .... but the dub is so funny. He's this Sheriff guy who befriends a child from outer space and they get into a buncha hyjinx and whatnot. They gave him a southern template for the audio dub in English but he doesn't really have a southern accent ... he just says southerny sounding words. I think they told the guy to dub the audio in the vein of Foghorn Leghorn. An example of the dialogue would be something like:
"Hey kid ... that's some mighty strange magic you got there, I say, what're those high falutin' gadgets?"
It's dubbed so bad you think you're watching a Shaw Brothers Kung Fu movie ... it's so "Bad" .... I love it. They are so good. I love all these movies they made. There's so many of them too. Spencer is 99% of the time teamed up with Terence Hill in them ... sometimes they are Cops, sometimes Pirates, sometimes Western gun slingers. One thing that's always certain though ... is Spencer n' Hill are gonna find there way into some loveable trouble.
The only reference by anyone in media I've ever seen to these wonderful Italian films, in any form, was on an episode of Eastbound and Down where they briefly watch a clip from the film Super Fuzz (which is a Terence Hill stand alone vehicle ... Bud Spencer does not appear in it) ... a scene where Terence Hill breaks out of an electric chair and then nose dives like a missile into a nearby lake.
Super Fuzz makes NO SENSE. Terence Hill is a cop who's a loose cannon and constantly getting in trouble with the police chief (Ernest Borgnine!) ... but things really get hairy when he is dispatched to a marsh to fight alligators .... when luck would have it ... a NUCLEAR BOMB is dropped on him and the alligator .... which gives Terence Hill super powers.
I can't believe Super Fuzz is only rated 6 on IMDB ... it's a genuine 8 or even a 9. It even has the added bonus of having its theme song written by someone who only knew a handful of words in English so you get great lyrics like ... "He is a Super, really Super Super, because he's Super Super!" What a great friggin' movie.
He's a Super Super ... really Super Doopah!!!! But he looks you and meee!
Oh my gosh. They don't make movies this "good" anymore. Super Fuzz is a damned Masterpiece. It honestly really is.
Rest in Peace, Bud Spencer, you were truly a Screen Icon ... and if anyone reading is a fan of "Bad" movies ... I can almost guarantee you will Love Bud Spencer and Terence Hill movies ... they are truly unique. Truly unique cinematic creations ....I must say.
Rest in Peace, Bud.