Hi, my name is D and this is my writings on subjects. I'm no rapscallion or anything at all. If you want to you can read my writings on subjects if you have free time. If you want to argue with me or call me names then please comment. Negative feedback is very welcome...I love dat shit. Me? I'm not even a noun, I'm a fucking verb, dude.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Impending Doom of the Internet...

The internet is a free-flowing super highway of data and information. If someone discovers something in one corner of the earth, immediately everyone on earth knows about it. If something hilarious happens somewhere on earth, immediately everyone knows about. If some woman has huge and beautiful breasts in some portion of the planet, immediately the entire earth knows about it.

This has been the case for almost 20 years now, but is the end approaching? Will the data of the internet be divided up by oligopolies and turned into a mere marketing tool for them? They did it to television, and they are coming for our internet.

When the net came out there was no ads on it, you could get around it easy and it was all content. A few years into the life of the net they poisoned it with millions of ads, you couldn't go from one link to the next without being assailed by a million pop up windows. Thankfully someone invented pop-up blockers and everything went back to normal for a while. In the last few years, the ads have crept back, in varying degrees from subtle (hidden somewhere on the page) to in-your-face (a full 30 second ad before a video plays).

Advertisements may be annoying but they're okay, and certainly do not represent the end of the free flowing of data on the internet. What scares me most is when big companies try to protect their profits by lobbying the government to place roadblocks and impede the flow of the internet.

Take for example, here in Canada we cannot watch anything on Hulu or any other American site because of laws placed on Canadians by the Canadian Tele-Radio Telecommunications Commission. In response to complaints by Canadian advertisers, and communications companies, access to hundreds of sites have been blocked to Canadian residents.

Yes, the government can impose "locks" on sites if they wish. Thankfully it's rarely for propaganda purposes but only to placate to the interest of big advertising and communications companies.

Recently, the Canadian Music Publishers Association and the Canadian Independent Music Association have both lobbied the government asking to make drastic changes to copyright laws, increase penalties for infringement, and to install all sorts of new "locks" on the internet for Canadian web users.

Since when do musicians and the music industry dictate what Canadians can do on the internet?

Canadian Music: Is it Just Bad...or is it Something Completely Sinister?

There was a time when Canadians made good music. We had stuff like Rush, the Guess Who, DOA, my gal Anne Murray, Nomeansno, and others. Those days are over, the Canadian music industry is now just a big dumb oligopoly that churns out chaff garbage off of some emotionless conveyor belt.

I'm not going to beat around the bush here, I'm gonna get straight to the point. The Canadian Music Industry trying to put locks on the internet is their third strike. This latest offense is their third and final one, and it is as brazen and effronterous as their initial two strikes.

Strike 1: Nickelback

This was not funny. Unleashing Nickelback onto the world is one of Canada's most awful crimes. As a Canadian person, I deeply and humbly apologize to the world and every foreign nation for Nickelback.

(Benevolent and intelligent Portuguese folks pelt Nickelback with projectiles of justice)

Chad Kroeger was some mutant who was seen rising out of a cesspool in Alberta by some record company bigwigs who thought they could give him a bath and sell him to the world. Unfortunately, it worked like a charm and both the bigwigs and Kroeger made millions.

After pulling a stunt like this, the Canadian music industry is already skating on thin ice. You do not try to pass mutants like Kroeger off as musical acts.

Strike 2: Justin Bieber

Decent cheek bones at least.
I tried apologizing to humanity on behalf of Canada for Nickelback, but I know no matter what I say...the rest of the earth will never forgive us for Bieber.

Listen up you Canadian Music Industry, this is beyond good taste at this point. You already had one strike against you, why go and pull something like this? You think you're funny or something? Are you trying to show that you can do anything you want? Something like this could easily break the camel's back. When you are on thin ice, you should not press your luck.

Bieber, heed these words: Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, go directly to North Korea like you were supposed to and stay there.

...and for the record: Shorty is not an eenie-meenie-miney-mo lover. She is a respectable, one-timing, and wonderful girl.

Strike 3: Fucking with the Free Flow of the Internet

Kroeger, then Bieber, and now this? Trying to place digital locks all over our great internet. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

You struck the fuck out Canadian Music Industry...now grab the pine, take a seat and think about what you've done.

What Can We Do?

How did the music industry get so big and powerful to have enough money to lobby the government to mess up all our laws? By hawking their shit warez and chachkies to 13 year old girls. They know 13 year old girls are the only people with enough power to make their parents buy them whatever they want, and thus they are the prime demographic to market products (Bieber, Kroeger) to.

If you are the parent of a 13 year old girl, please for the love of everything that is holy and right, do not buy them the Canadian Music Industry's chaff garbage. Having a child with a Bieber or a Kroeger addiction is a million times worse than if your child has a drug or alcohol addiction. It is not all fun and games anymore, it's not an innocent crush anymore, letting them listen to Bieber and Kroeger will ultimately kill our internet.

If you found marijuana or a bottle of vodka in your 13 year old daughter's room, you would confiscate it and punish her right? Of course. Yet marijuana or vodka will not even cause the destruction of the free flowing internet as we know it.

I implore all parents of 13 year old girls, please, if you find a Bieber or Kroeger CD in their room, or see an entry for them while you scan through their ipods, for the love of the internet, PLEASE, confiscate it and sit her down and explain to her the damage she is doing to herself and society. You must treat chaff music industry garbage as substances that are more toxic and mentally corrosive than marijuana and vodka combined.

I implore you, for the good of the internet...do not buy any more crappy Canadian music for your kids.

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